To My 17-Year-Old Self,

I know just how much you want to make the most of your life and be successful. But I also know that maybe, somewhere deep inside, part of that drive is also a way to make up for everything you believe you aren’t enough of.

Pretty enough. Skinny enough. Fun enough. Popular enough. Lovable enough. Stylish enough.

You play it off like you don’t care what others think about you or that you can be confident in your own skin and uniqueness. But it still bothers you—you’re kind of an outcast but also well-known because of your achievements.

If not your achievements, then what else do you have to cling to? Be proud of? Stand on? Prove yourself with?

I get it. I still have those days when I believe that my worth lies in my productivity and success. But I’ve learned so much in the past few years that I wish you could’ve known and understood in high school. Take it from me: learning these 5 lessons sooner would’ve removed so much heartbreak, stress, jealousy, and low self-esteem from your life.

God provides all of the abundance you need in life.

I know you believe in God and accepted Jesus as your Savior at a young age, but the good news doesn’t end there. It’s always easier to see God’s commands as a bunch of rules and regulations. Even though you don’t quite understand why you have to follow them, you always feel guilty when you don’t.

I’m here to tell you that God’s commands are set in place to protect and bless you. By following His guidance and walking in the Spirit, you won’t experience near the amount of heartbreak and pain that you will living for the world.

You look for other things (boys, friends, material items, worldly knowledge, etc.) to fill the void in your heart and help you feel something other than emptiness.

But none of it works, does it? That’s because only God can provide all of the abundance you could ever want or need.

Your Heavenly Father loves you more than any boy ever could, and you don’t have to accept the bare minimum or ill-treatment just because you worry you won’t find love and attention elsewhere.

You WILL. Jesus is the best friend you can ever have, and He never makes you feel unloved, not enough, or alone. He’s always with you and brings fullness to your heart and abundance to your life—seek Him first!

If they wanted to, they would.

You think that you have to put up with flakiness, ill-treatment, backstabbing, and other traits of terrible friends and boyfriends because at least you have them, right?

Honey, you’ll learn this eventually, but it would be ideal for you to learn it ASAP: if they wanted to, they would.

I’ve learned that people always treat you exactly how they feel about you. So, if someone isn’t giving you love, making an effort to talk to you or spend time with you, or standing up for you in your absence, they don’t care enough about you to deserve personal access to you.

You still get bent out of shape when someone doesn’t treat you how you want them to, but you have to understand that their actions don’t mean you aren’t worthy or that there’s something wrong with you.

You can (and should!) let them go—don’t let these people live rent-free in your head. But you also don’t have to hold onto resentment in their place; let them go, wish them well, and move on. You’ll definitely find an incredible man to love you deeply and a few true friends to always stand by your side—I can promise you that!

You aren’t defined by your appearance or achievements.

High school leads you to believe that your appearance and achievements are the most important things in the entire world.

Loading your schedule with AP classes, sports, and other extracurriculars seems so crucial for your future. It’s important to do well, but in reality, all of that means much less than you’ve been led to believe. Give yourself some grace: it’s okay to take a break.

All of the girls around you are the dictionary definition of thin-and-pretty, and then there’s you. You believe you aren’t anything special or beautiful because you have a little more meat on your bones and all the boys aren’t lining up to date you.

Have you ever considered that you’re too much woman for little boys? Or that your brain and old soul are intimidating to other young people? Or that God is protecting you from unnecessary pain? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you girlie, and you aren’t defined by these things anyway!

Your value and identity come through the blood of Jesus and don’t you forget that!

Your perception of yourself is dead WRONG.

Comparison is a killer. The enemy loves to lead us to compare ourselves to other people to put out our light and make us fall into darkness and low confidence.

When you see others around you that have the perfect body, clothes, hair, and makeup, you feel inferior and small. You’ve always been a little heavier, despite being an athlete, and you picture yourself as the ugly, fat friend.

But let me tell you something: that’s not you! Your mind is playing tricks on you, and you’re actually beautiful, strong, and healthy.

Your negative perception of your body is dead WRONG. Your body carries you through life, lets you laugh, allows you to enjoy all of your favorite things, and most importantly, you were beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God.

Don’t let the enemy lead you to hate your body. You’re beautifully unique, and there’s a man you’ll meet down the road that’ll love every inch of you. Love your body and take care of her!

Being a part of a big circle isn’t fun.

Almost everyone yearns to be in the popular crowd. As much as you claim you don’t, deep down you do. You want to have hundreds of friends, a bunch of followers on social media, and to be loved and admired by everyone.

But you aren’t.

In fact, lots of people don’t like you for no apparent reason. You’re kind, genuine, and smart; yet, others pass you up and leave you out because you’re quiet and don’t beg to be included. But it hurts—not being included, invited, or part of the inner circle.

I can honestly tell you that being a part of a big circle isn’t fun. They’re full of fake friends, backstabbing, and gossip about other group members. This is what hurts even more than being left out.

There’s nothing better than having a few beautiful souls to share your life with. These few incredible friends will fill your heart with so much joy, love, and support to last a lifetime. You don’t need a huge circle—you just need a few loyal beauties that will also be the bridesmaids in your wedding and your soul sisters in Christ.

Some will say that you still learned these lessons very early in life, but I say that you learned them a little too late. Regardless, these life lessons are some of the most important keys to a happy and joyous life.

If you had this knowledge back then, you probably would’ve been happier.

At the same time, if you hadn’t gone through what you did to learn these lessons, they wouldn’t hold as much value.

If you didn’t break, Jesus wouldn’t have been able to put you back together.

If you didn’t live the life you did, you wouldn’t be who you are today, and you wouldn’t be able to use your experiences to encourage and inspire others.

Hindsight is always 20/20. Mistakes are inevitable. Life goes on. Nobody is perfect, and we all just keep learning every single day.

If I were to tell you at 17 that 7 years from now you’re married to an amazing man you haven’t even met yet, you moved to a new town, you’re a small business owner, and you’re walking closely with Jesus, you would’ve said I was insane.

But here we are at age 24, sweet girl. Take it from me: despite all the heartbreak, doubt, and your lack of confidence, you’re living so many of the things you prayed for.

With all my love,

Your 24-Year-Old Self