Marriage is such a beautiful covenant designed by God, but we as humans tend to mess it up. We like to insert our own selfish desires and tendencies into this significant relationship with our spouse, which in turn, can lead to unhealthy marriages, divorce, infidelity, and even the ‘roommate scenario.’ Personally, none of these outcomes are an option in my marriage—we don’t entertain the idea of divorce, joke about it, or give it any attention. I realize that almost nobody gets married thinking a divorce is in the future, but many also don’t do the things necessary to ensure their marriage doesn’t go down that path. Follow along for the best marriage advice nobody asked for but everybody needs to learn, whether the easy way or the hard way.

Communication Is Key

This piece of advice is probably overused and cliché, but it’s very true. Unfortunately, one of the biggest downfalls of many marriages is the lack of true communication and comprehension. In many cases, each spouse either forgets to relay things to the other, they don’t communicate their feelings, or they don’t make actually talking to each other a daily priority.

I’m not going to say that my husband and I are perfect communicators, but we really try. When he comes home from work every day, the first thing we do is kiss and start talking face to face about our days, anything the other should know, and plans or clarifications. Sometimes this doesn’t happen because we have somewhere to be or something comes up. In this case, our talking time gets moved to right before bed.

When you genuinely care about your spouse, what they have to say, and the fluidity of your relationship, communication and comprehension are incredibly easy.

Don’t Keep Score: Serve Each Other

Keeping score in a relationship is another very common thing couples start doing when they get married. It becomes: I paid for dinner, so this bill it’s your responsibility; I did the dishes last night, so you have to do my laundry; I went to this concert with you, so I deserve a night out with the boys.

These are lame examples, I know. But it’s really how it is for some! First of all, you become ONE when you get married. That includes everything down to your finances, chores, parenting, etc.

STOP. KEEPING. SCORE. You entered a marriage—this relationship is the most sacred covenant, and it’s a picture of how Christ loves the church; His bride!

Jesus didn’t boss the church around, hold grudges, or say that we owe Him something because He gave His life for our sins. He loved and served sacrificially! In the same way, marriage should be about serving each other to the best of your ability. When you both serve and love each other freely, both of your needs are taken care of—you can exist in near-perfect unity.

Put the Dang Phone Down

Technology is great and cell phones are fabulous tools. However, they have a time and a place. I’m not saying that you can’t have some time for yourself to catch up with social media and all the notifications, but there is a line.

It’s very easy for your cell phone to become an idol without you even knowing it. So much so that it might even come before your spouse! It’s so sad when we go out to dinner and look around at all the couples and families on their phones at the table, but it’s so normalized in our culture.

People probably think we’re the weird ones actually talking to each other at dinner, like it’s a date (because it is! You should date each other too).

Put the dang phone down, give each other genuine respect and attention, keep dating each other, and keep learning about each other. If you got married, you obviously wanted to be with that person at some point—actually be present together while you can.

Making Love Solves a Lot of Problems

Even though marriage is so much more than just physical attraction and intimacy, they’re still very important factors. It’s easy when you first get married—it’s all you want to do the first year. But then life starts getting in the way, and many couples put sex on the back burner.

Then the problems come, and they don’t know how to solve them. In reality, the issues arise because they stopped connecting with each other, enjoying each other, and truly loving each other.

I’m a firm believer that sex is a spiritual experience, which is why God commanded it to be kept within a marriage relationship only. It allows a couple to love deeply, to share something special, to serve and enjoy each other, to heal in challenging times, and to stay emotionally, spiritually, and physically connected.

When you go too long without making love to each other, tension increases and you might even start to feel anger or frustration toward each other—just set your pride aside and get to loving on each other! With a few date night ideas to boost intimacy, you can get back to those sparks you both felt when you first said “I do.”

Don’t Take Each Other For Granted

Taking each other for granted is another common area couples go wrong in marriage. It’s very easy to lack gratitude for everything your spouse does for you because you just expect it; however, you can’t do that! When someone doesn’t feel appreciated and loved, they probably won’t continue to serve you with everything they have.

Whenever my husband does anything for me—as big as surprising me with a vacation or as small as grabbing something for me from the other room—I make a point to thank him and let him know that I appreciate him and his efforts. In the same way, he thanks me for cooking him dinner every night (he’s culinary-challenged). Regardless of what your spouse does with you or for you, don’t take them for granted.

Now that I’ve given you my version of the best marriage advice nobody asked for, I pray you can apply some of these principles to your own relationship. You might not think your marriage needs help right now, but everything is fine until it’s not. Don’t let the enemy work his way into your household—his main goal is to kill, steal, and destroy everything God designs and commands. Be diligent about loving each other fully every single day; there’s always tomorrow until there isn’t.