In this day and age, being your true self is a rarity. Most of us spend our entire lives trying to fit in with the crowd, working to be successful, and striving to be loved, admired, and respected. We’re told from a very young age that our purpose is to find our place in society and be good people, but what about those of us who want to find deeper purpose and fulfillment in who we actually are? How do we master authenticity when we live in a society where marketing and media overrule the truth, where image is more important than integrity, where superficiality is the norm, and biblical principles get mocked and stomped underfoot? I might be able to help—follow along if you want to know a few helpful ways to shape your most authentic self!

Spend Some Time Observing Yourself and Reflecting Inward

For many of us, it can be difficult to become authentic because we don’t even realize when we’re being inauthentic. Think about it: we’ve been conditioned our entire lives to be, act, and think a certain way about ourselves and the world around us. As a result, many people don’t even know who they are.

If you want to become the realest version of yourself, you need to spend some time observing yourself and reflecting inward.

But what do I mean by this?

Well, you should focus on being more in-tune with yourself in all aspects of life. In every situation, start asking yourself how you feel deep down, recognizing your natural reactions, and keeping track of your internal thoughts. By doing so, you will soon understand who you are internally.

Stop Working to Blend In

It’s common for all of us to want to blend in or fit in with the people we’re around. However, this often leads to us becoming something we’re not. I know this from experience—your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and opinions can be influenced by other people if you’re not careful. Before you know it, you’re not even you anymore!

The best piece of advice: stop working so hard to blend in with other people, even if they’re your ‘friends.’

If you have to try to fit in with a specific group of people, then that’s a clue that you’re not where you belong. Give up the trying to be something you’re not and embrace your individualism and uniqueness.

Learn to Recognize the Enemy’s Lies

One of the driving forces that can make us someone we’re not is the enemy himself. Believe it or not, he can begin to change who you are just by dropping false thoughts in your head about yourself.

You might think that you’re “too different to be liked,” “too fat to experience love,” “not outgoing enough,” or “not smart enough to make a difference.”

However, you must learn to recognize that these are lies straight from the enemy. Do you really think that the Mighty God that created you would say those things about you or want you to think those things about yourself? The answer is no!

One of the best ways to learn to decipher between truth and lies is to immerse yourself in Scripture to understand who God says you are. When you know how your Creator refers to you and feels about you, you’ll be able to recognize the enemy’s lies and shoot them down as fast as he plants them.

Choose Your Values and Stick to Them

Everyone has values, whether positive or negative. Your values are what drive you and determine how you prioritize your life. For instance, some people might value pleasure or instant gratification. As a result, they may be heavy drinkers or impulse spenders.

On the other hand, when your values are family, faith in Christ alone, integrity, etc., you’ll be more likely to shape your character and lifestyle around healthy and positive principles. Chances are, you already have values in your life, but you might not know exactly what they are.

Spend some time searching your soul and choosing things that are incredibly important or valuable to you. Once you have a solid list of values, write them down, put them somewhere you’ll see them daily, and stick to them!

Having great values and living them out is one of the best ways to be your authentic self.

If you need some examples of what your list can look like, I’ll give you a handful of my personally held values:

• Faith in Jesus
• Family
• Authenticity
• Consistency
• Humility
• Gratitude
• Self-Control
• Integrity
• Creativity
• Kindness
• Growth
• Positivity
• Reliability
• Structure
• Confidence
• Usefulness
• Fruitfulness
• LOVE!!!

Live Unapologetically in Your Identity in Christ

Lastly, but most importantly, living unapologetically in your Identity in Christ is one of the most powerful ways to shape your most authentic self. The enemy may spout off lies about each of us, but the Lord always tells us the truth in His Word.

The issue is that many of us struggle to know the truth because we don’t actually read it for ourselves. Unfortunately, we can’t be confident in our identity in Christ if we never pick up the Bible to learn what that identity is.

The Lord calls us His children, and we’re loved, chosen, redeemed, and forgiven. And we’re also the Bride of Christ—Jesus puts the needs of His Bride (the church) above His own and gave His life for her, setting the example of how a husband should treat his wife. When you know who Jesus says you are, you’re less likely to be swayed by the enemy, the world, and other people.

If you don’t know how or where you should study in the Bible, my tip to you is to just start in the New Testament and pray for the Holy Spirit to teach you, reveal to you, and to bring you into all truth.

Learning to embrace authenticity after years of trying to blend in is a challenge, but it’s also very freeing. This society has us so conditioned to believe that it’s abnormal to stand out rather than fit in; as a result, we focus on coloring inside the lines rather than painting our own picture.

It’s okay to be YOU.

You’re allowed to stand firm even if you stand alone.

It’s okay to be different.

You we’re created by God to be set apart.

Ultimately, the desire to fit in boils down to fear. The fear of being alone, of not belonging, of being labelled ‘weird,’ or of not being successful because of your values.

But you know what?

When you understand your identity in Christ, you’ll realize that you have a seat at the table of the Almighty God—it’ll no longer matter who invites you to their table or not.

Embrace your authenticity.

You’re one of a kind because your Creator is divine.